Thursday, February 22, 2007

A Rose City Roller by Any Other Name...

In a recent episode of Live Wire we did a little game show type thingy. Our guests were Barfly, Viva Vendetta, Slaybia and several other Roller Girls from the Rose City Rollers. In our game show we asked audience members to compete by telling the real Roller Girl names from a bunch of fake ones. It was a bit of a challenge. The real names, like Intensive Scare, The Harmacist and Scratcher in the Eye, disappeared amongst the fakes like a polar bear in a snowstorm.

Here’s a big old list of our fake Roller Girl handles, for your possible enjoyment.

Rep. Karen Meanness
Gov. Barbara RobHURTS
PortlanD.O.A.
Upper Cut-prial and John
Janet Reno Means No
Ugly Betty Ford
Rachel "Death" Ray
Audrey Hipburn
Gouged Inez
Eva Battle
Junior Misdemeanor
Violent No-Regard
The Vulvarizer
Saucy Rejoinder
Ladybird Flu
Ginger Lee Hurling
Statutory Spelling
Felony Griffith
Poison Grace
Maternity Liv
Paloma Finger
Crazy Astronaut in a Diaper
Jackie the Ripper
Cruella DeWheelz
Gone-o-Rita
Princess Die
Killer Bea Arthur
Stabby Von Killingham
Knee to the Groin
My Little Dead Pony
Hello Hittie!
Mrs. Eloise P. Satan
Shmoopy
Hug It Out, Bitch
Menses Approaches
Paula Bearer
Val Catraz
Perish Hilton
Nicole Bitchie
Va Va Va Gina
EriKaboom!
Assaultin’ Pepper
Aunt Flow
Curbstomp Bettie
Slasher Spice
Holly Hunt 'N Destroy
Moo Goo Guys Suck
Thumbelina in your Eyeball
Hold Me Closer, Necromancer
G. Gordon Lydia

As you can see, there are some gems in there and the best thing to do with a gem is to give it to a special lady. There are a lot of rising stars in Roller Derby, just fixing to take off, and they’re all going to need names. So if any of those special ladies want to grab a handle off our list, that would just be our pleasure. We fear and respect the ladies of the RCR League and hope their continued happiness and future success means the asses they kick will be asses other than our own.

2 comments:

mwoodwar said...

Nashville has officially launched, and the bout was a blast.

I hope you'll stop by my Ning Rollergirl Site , and keep us all posted on doings.

Mark


Mark

el padre rico said...

More like "DeadWire." Why are you people not entertaining me for free anymore? Soon it will be two months with no post. I may be forced to slide you more to the right on my Bookmarks bar. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. Oh! The wailing and gnashing of teeth! (Or in some cases, "toofahs")