Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Ssh! Antelope!

Hello fellow bloggers, readers of blogs and government computers that sift through blogs in search of keywords that might indicate terrorist activity! You’re the bomb!

It’s exciting to be a part of a blog! What a great opportunity to create more and better results when I Google myself!

So far, I’d compare my blogging style to the dialogue in the comic strip Mark Trail! In that beloved King Features syndicated series every sentence ends with an exclamation point! Even when our animal-savvy hero (coincidentally named Mark Trail) quietly sneaks up to a nest of hatching quail or a timid herd of antelope, he ends up SHOUTING something about it! The same thing happens in Apartment 3G! I’d hate to live in 2G or 3F or whatever apartment is next door as I think I’d find all the screaming very disturbing! Does anyone in that apartment have an inside voice?

Dang it. With the above rhetorical question I just shattered my dream of an exclusively exclamation-point-punctuated blog. Nothing to do now, but return to my original goal of increasing my visibility in the Googleverse.

Tyler Hughs. tylerhughs. hughs, tyler.

Please note, there is not an e in my name. Well there's the one. But it's hardly silent. I ask you: what's the point of adding a vestigial e in "Hughs," silent as a fart in an elevator, when there's already two silent letters in there anyways? What am I, French?

Now when you or I enter “Tyler Hughs, celebrity” or “charismatic, brilliant, masterful lover, hope for our future, Tyler Hughs” we can all find what we’re looking for: me! And when Google asks:

Did you mean tyler hughes

or

Did you mean “trailer hitches

...answer NO…with an exclamation point!

And before you call my first foray into the blogosphere indulgent and self-serving, consider what I’ve done this day for Mark Trail, Apartment 3G, Tyler Hughes and trailer hitches. As my flickering spark of Google light grows brighter, so does theirs.

And I’m glad of it…except for in the case of Tyler Hughes. That guy can suck it.

2 comments:

Courrrtenay said...

I loved this blog entry! It was such a pleasure to read! Tyler Hughs is awesome!! I am tired from yelling!

Scott Erickson said...

I like this comic essay very much. The style reminds me of Dave Barry, if Dave Barry had a totally different style.